We will remain confident in the Lord's direction for our lives....

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Just Keepin' it REAL

What is a "blog" good for if I doesn't show the true colors of someone and the life they lead.  

Well the following story is sadly very true....

Once upon a time, on Tuesday, March 2, 2010 to be exact, the day started like any other day.  Garth headed for work and the boys and I got ready to head to school.  Jaydon and I got Dylan delivered to school for his day.  We headed to the grocery store to get a couple of things and then returned home.  I worked out on my bike and Jaydon played with his toys and I'm sure squeezed in some Lego Star Wars action too.  We had lunch and then enjoyed a regular afternoon at home.  I could tell that Jaydon was getting a bit tired because he would curl up on the couch with his blanket.  

Are you still with me.  Hang in there.  You will be so glad you did.

There was no time for a nap because it was time to go get big brother.  We arrived at school and all seemed normal.  While waiting around Dylan's class for the bell to ring, Jaydon began running to this grassy area on the backside of the school.  I said "hey" to Dylan and went to round up Jaydon.  I told him it was time to go, but he informed me that he was waiting for a friend.  I explained that this friend was not here today and we needed to go to the car.  A couple of exchanges back and forth and he began to cry.  He told me he couldn't go to the car because he was crying.  I sat down with him for a couple of minutes explaining that he needed to stop crying and walk to the car.  He still didn't want to walk, so Dylan and I acted like we were walking away.  Jaydon didn't like us leaving but was still not budging and still crying LOUDLY, I might add.  

Okay, so this is where it gets fun.  I gave him one more opportunity to walk by himself.  He opted not.  So, I picked him up like a sack of potatoes with my one good arm.  Well, he began kicking, screaming, and crying.  I had to walk holding this crazy child from the back side of the school all the way to my car.  We passed many children and parents and teachers.  I just had to keep walking.  We finally made it to the crosswalk and I held his hand and basically dragged him across the street.  By this time, I am not only a crazy mom with an out of control child, I am a crying mom.  Somehow, I got him in the car, threw him in his carseat and got him buckled up.  We drove home and he is still at it.  Into the house and he is still at it.  I pull his pants down and spank and spank and spank his little bottom all the while trying not to loose total control.  Up to his room he goes.  I have to hold the door closed and am amazed at his strength.  By this time I am just praying.  I don't know what else to do.  I explain that he must calm down to come out.  He does a bit and I open the door.  I have him sit and explain how hurt, sad, embarrassed I am.  I have him tell me he is sorry, which he does only because he has to.  I then make him say "I will obey you mommy."  Well, not so much.  I have to shut him in his room again.  Finally he gives in and says it.  I head downstairs and he continues to yell at me to come back up.  I don't go back up and he finally makes his way down.  A few minutes more and he grabs his blanket and heads for the couch.  Next thing I know is that he is ASLEEP.

This is a text I sent to Garth during the ordeal:
I had to carry your son from the backside of school property kicking and screaming to the car.  I was embarrassed and in tears.  Shoved in the carseat and at home.  Many spankings, locked in his room and still at it after over 30 min.  Please pray for us.  Seriously!!!

That was how the Aldrich crew spent their afternoon.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted afterward and still feeling it today.  I felt so embarrassed and defeated.

However, there are some people who made the worst moments a tiny bit less horrible. 

 First, at school a good friend who had witnessed the entire ordeal tried to be as encouraging as possible.  "We've all been there.  All kids have their meltdowns. What can I do to help?"  Thanks Melissa.

Then as Jaydon was winding down from the fit, Garth called and let me cry and explain.  We talked through it and I'm thankful I don't have to parent totally alone.  Thanks so much honey.

Finally, not two minutes after the fun, my phone rang.  I almost didn't answer it because I was still winding down, but I really wanted to visit with this friend.  I answered and heard her voice.  I tried to keep things together, but when she asked about my day - well, you know the rest.  Sadly she got to hear my baggage, but still loved me through it.  Thanks for listening Heidi.

Thanks to my hubby and friends for loving me and not judging me while I was 


I felt the need to share this story because I never want another mom to feel like I did.  I felt like I was the only mom in the world to ever experience such nastiness.  I felt that every parent was watching and judging.  I desire others to know you aren't alone and someone has gone through the same things with their own children.  And if they haven't, they probably will.  

Well, I could use a break from this whole parenting thing, but that won't happen for many, many more years.  So, I will just continue on and try to do better next time.  

Hope your day was better than mine!!!  


heidi said...

Well, you know what my friend... you are a joy to know and love! And hearing your tears on the other line made me feel so loved by you... that you would trust me enough to be honest and transparent! I love you and can't wait for Wednesday!

You are one wonderful Mommy, and you are a blessing to all that know you! Thanks for posting this, as well all have had or WILL HAVE this kind of day, and it's nice to know we are not alone!

Hope today went a bit better for you all:) P.S. Elijah left MOPS on Tuesday asking for his friend Jayden... I was so happy that he remembered his friend :)

Chellie said...

Parenting is tough..the hardest job in the world with the best benefits. Even at 1 year old, Lyla knows how to push my buttons and my patience. I see many of those public displays of frustration in my future, and I hope I handle them as well as you did. I am sure the parents who were staring were thinking back to a time when their own child put them through the same scenario. Don't ever feel defeated as a parent. You are a wonderful mom doing the absolute best you can.

Sara said...

Thank you for sharing this. We HAVE all been there. Thank you for being brave enough to put yourself out there so that others can feel better about their own moments. I really hope you never have to do that again. Hugs, my friend!

lanissa said...

Remember all of my fits as a kid? The time I had to ride on a float in preschool & grandmother bribed me with smarties, the church directory pictures where my face was all red from dad spanking the daylights out of me because I threw a fit about having to stand there and smile, the countless dentist visits where I screamed bloody murder when they'd come get me from the waiting room? Ok, maybe I should stop reminiscing. I, obviously, put our parents through plenty of that. My day is coming :(

Anonymous said...

Ha I loved that story! I agree we have all been there and more than once I must say.

You are a great mom and a wonderful friend.I cannot stop laughing at Lanissa comments...I can totally see that happening.;)jn